Rob won a prototype Kenworth 4WD minivan!

You might not know about Kenworth -- but you see their products all the time. They make TRUCKS. Big trucks, as in Class 7 & Class 8 semi-tractor trailer rigs. Many devoted truckers won't drive anything less than a Kenworth.

The company recently decided to produce a dependable "small" vehicle for truckers who want to drive a Kenworth around town. Mind you, they couldn't really build a pickup truck in a world saturated with pickup manufacturers. They didn't want to sell "yet another" minivan. And forget about building a car in a world saturated with car companies.

Then someone at Kenworth came up with a brilliant idea. Truckers like four-wheel drive vehicles, and the family could use a minivan ... so why not create a 4WD minivan?

I thought it sounded pretty weird when I first heard this story. But it begins to make sense when you look at it from a trucker's perspective:

• It carries up to seven people, or you can remove the middle & back seats if desired.
• Instead of a minivan's slide-open third door, the prototype offers a swing-open door much like a sport utility vehicle.
• You can shift on the fly into all-wheel-drive and 4WD in case of snow, mud, generic bad weather, or when pulling heavy loads.
• An automatic load-leveler system keeps the rear end off the ground when pulling or carrying heavy loads.

How did I win this prototype vehicle? Ah, let me tell you a little story...

KENWORTH WANTED PEOPLE to drive prototypes around so they could get some good feedback. How do you find willing participants? Simple: you hold a drawing for people to win a brand-new vehicle!

Denise exiled me to a run-down airstrip in South Carolina for one year as punishment. She literally dumped me in a trailer located 50 miles from everywhere. One weekend during my exile, I spent a day in the state capitol. I ate dinner there and something disagreed with me as I drove back to the airplane patch.

I really needed to use the bathroom all of a sudden. The first exit I came to offered one nice gas station ... and a Kenworth dealership. The gas station looked pretty crowded, so I rushed into Kenworth with my legs crossed and pleaded to use a restroom.

One of the salesmen walked over when I (finally) emerged. "Army?" he asked, pointing to my military haircut. "Nope, Air Force." We talked for awhile about his stint with the Marines in the late 1960s. (Vietnam. Purple Heart. Don't let him show you his war wound.)

Eventually he asked if I'd like to enter to win a prototype 4WD minivan -- his dealership got selected to hold one of the drawings. "I don't really care to enter," I said. "I wouldn't know where to keep my sporty two-seater rocket sled until I gave back your car. Besides, I'm not a trucker. I just needed a bathroom."

"No no, you don't understand," he replied. "Everybody who wins the drawing gets to own the car. They just want your opinion on how it feels." So I thought, oh what the heck. I filled out an entry form. The salesman shook my hand as I left. (Yes, I washed my hands in the bathroom.)

YOU CAN GUESS what happened. I returned from one year of exile hoping to fall into the arms of my lovely bride -- I mean, it's July and we haven't seen each other since March -- but Denise glared at me when I walked in the house with my suitcases. "Some guy in South Carolina called our answering machine. He said you can pick up your new minivan anytime now. When exactly did you plan to tell me about this little purchase of yours?"

"Oh, honey, I love you too and I missed you just as much. I have no earthly idea what you're talking about. None."

So I listened to the answering machine message. "This is Kenworth of South Carolina. We pulled your name in the April 1 drawing for a prototype vehicle ... it arrived and you can pick it up at your convenience." Wow!

Needless to say, Denise felt much happiness at my good fortune. She even apologized for her misunderstanding! How sweet.

Those Kenworth guys didn't like my recent return to St. Louis. The minivan arrived two days after I left! The dealership wanted to hold a public relations event and take photos of a smiling winner receiving the keys to Kenworth's prototype 4WD minivan. Thinking fast, I told them my Air Force commitments wouldn't let me return to South Carolina for at least a month.

They grudgingly offered to ship the minivan to the nearest Kenworth dealer. I said "great! Where's the one in St. Louis?" Ouch -- no dealer. So guess what? They actually agreed to ship a Kenworth prototype minivan to a car dealer of my choosing! I chose the Auffenberg Auto Plaza.

Owner Jamie Auffenberg personally accepted the shipment when it arrived. (Jamie & I go way back.) He took one look at it and said "you need a CD player and a VCT/TV and a car alarm. You also need rust, paintjob, and upholstery protection. Oh, and you need an Auffenberg license plate holder." One of the salesmen snapped a Polaroid of Jamie handing me the car keys.

(I didn't scan the Polaroid before mailing it to Kenworth. Darn!)

I HATE TAXES. Kenworth declared a hefty price for the prototype; I paid an arm & leg to Uncle Sam because of it. I actually considered a loan at one point ... but then an Auffenberg salesman noticed my sporty two-seater rocket sled sitting outside.

"I haven't seen a classic-body Mazda RX-7 for sale in at least two years," he drooled. "You willing to let it go?" He took it off my hands right then & there. It paid for most (not all) of the taxes; a savings withdrawl covered the rest.

Well, I gave up a sporty two-seater rocket sled so I could pay exorbitant taxes on a vehicle I didn't buy. Denise told me I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. "Whoever said that didn't pay taxes on the horse," I muttered.

But I really shouldn't complain about the "cost" of owning this baby. It comes with a luggage rack, pampers you like a minivan, and drives like a four-wheel. One interesting idea -- the designers placed the tilt-steering lever under the column. It doesn't get in your way when you fumble for the turn signal! (Good thinking, guys.)

Some gripes about my prototype vehicle:

• Seven people sit comfortably only if you put three kids or small adults in the back. Kenworth says all minivans suffer this basic problem.
• Its 3.0L V6 engine doesn't hold a candle to the 1.1L rotary powerplant in my sporty two-seater rocket sled. Imagine the performance you'd get with a 1.3L engine! Kenworth thinks a radical engine design might scare away truckers who like to tinker with their cars. (Besides, only Mazda sells rotary-equipped vehicles.)
• The middle seat "pops out" if you use a screwdriver. Kenworth says they followed typical minivan configurations. Hey guys, if I want to carry a load of lumber, I want to rip out both seats with no fuss! It seems others who won prototypes agree with me on this point.
• My left elbow hurts. The door armrests need more padding.
• You can shift into AWD or 4WD at speeds up to 65mph. Let me tell you something -- if you suddenly need a four-wheel powertrain at 65mph, just forget about it and kiss your butt goodbye. (No comment from Kenworth.)
• The next time they give away a prototype, I hope they declare its value at $1 so the winners can avoid taxes. Ouch!

OH, ONE LAST thing. Kenworth still needs a name for this minivan. I think they should hold another contest! I'd submit an entry to call it "MPV," an acronym for "multi purpose vehicle." Sounds kinda catchy, doesn't it? The Kenworth MPV...

I intend to name my next cat "Kenworth" as a tribute to my good fortune. Look for a gold minivan sporting a RSNBRGR plate with the distinctive KENWORTH logo right below it. See you on the road! And that's a big ten-four good buddy...