Denise & Rob crash into the Wienermobile!

"You've got to really cut the mustard if you want to drive a Wienermobile."
-- an Oscar Mayer driver, showing off her hotdog-shaped driver's license

Part 2: fancy meeting you here!

Some famous names got stuck in traffic because of the accident. Toby Wright of the St. Louis Rams football team, for example, had followed the Nabisco truck for the last 35 miles when the accident occurred. He jumped out of his car, pulled Denise out of her mangled wreck, and gave her mouth-to-mouth ressucitation. He had to do it for a looooong time. Or at least that's how Denise remembers it...

Rob asked if Toby put his hands on her chest to give five quick (cardiopulminary) thrusts -- but our glassy-eyed bride wistfully cooed "I'll never tell..."

Toby even helped the Security ~~Police~~Forcesmen disperse a large crowd gathering around the accident scene. "C'mon over here and you can all gawk at me," he told them. Toby's agent quickly drew up a sign and asked people to form two lines for the football player's autograph:

Toby's agent did some smart thinking, too. He asked everybody to pick up one Nabisco product for each autograph! As you can tell in the photo below, Toby is a popular football hero. His agent neatly stacked up the Nabisco products (while mumbling something about endorsement contracts). Rams fans picked up all the scattered debris in less than one hour!

Racing champion Ricky Rudd got clipped by Denise's car during the accident, just badly enough to cause an engine fire on his 17^th lap around the parking lot. He pulled over so the pit crew could work on it. Don't worry about Ricky: he still earned some IROC points for his commissary trip.

Sadly, a Security ~~Police~~Forcesman docked Ricky one lap for pulling over in a no-parking zone. Ricky argued drivers can barely see (let alone read) a brown sign with small white letters on a concrete curb. Look at the highlight circle in the picture below -- see if you don't agree with Ricky!

Denise seemed infatuated with Ricky's muscle car, as you can see in the next photo. Perhaps because her loving hubby recently sold his sporty two-seater rocket sled? (Rob misses the vehicle, too.) Our blushing bride convinced Ricky to ler her drive home in the race car...

But Rob, ever the doting husband, refused to let her take it for a spin. Ricky deployed the extinguisher when the engine caught fire during the 17^th lap, and Rob abhors exhausted extinguishers. "Don't get me started again about what happened in 1980," he mysteriously cautioned.

Then Denise noticed Ricky's beautiful pickup truck. She begged him to give it to her, but he refused. "The truck really belongs to my sponsor, Tide. And on that note, I can't go another minute without thanking Team Tide for repairing my car in such short order. They really cleaned up the engine compartment, which is typical of a company which makes such a fine product as Tide. Besides, pretty girl, how would I get the trailer home if I gave my truck to you?"

Our pretty bride batted her eyelashes at Ricky, but he wouldn't budge. When he looked away to take some money for an autograph, Denise grabbed her chance! She quickly glanced around to see if anyone noticed her...

Then she went for the gusto! She tried to get into the pickup truck.

That's when the Air Force commissary manager jumped out from behind a stack of Nabisco products. He demanded to know where the screwdriver in her hands came from and what she planned to do with it. "I kept it hidden behind my good intentions," our sassy spouse replied. "And I wanted to fix this gorgeous pickup truck. Come on, didn't a cashier tell you about the big parking-lot accident? State Farm says this truck is totaled."

Then the manager noticed Rob's camera. "Why are you waving a camera around here?" he demanded to know of Rob. "What news organization do you work for? Where's your Public Affairs escort? Why aren't you wearing a badge showing you can take photos on an official military installation?"

"Okay okay, you got me on the badge thing," our embarrassed groom said. "What should I do about it?" The commissary manager told Rob he could keep his film only if he promised to retouch every photo showing excessive prices for Nabisco products.

"Retouching isn't allowed on our website," Rob told him. "What if I just blur out the prices instead?" The manager grudgingly agreed -- but then he ordered a Security ~~Police~~Forcesman to "forcibly remove" our bride & groom from the Air Force base.

Rob mumbled something to the effect of "we can take a subtle hint" as a ~~Police~~Forcesman approached with his billy club drawn. The two lovebirds high-tailed it out of the commissary parking lot.

According to Rob, his blushing bride retrieved a Rams football uniform from her duffel bag right before bedtime. She looked at him with hungry eyes and asked him to put it on. When Rob asked where she got the jersey, Denise cooed "I'll never tell..."

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