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Denise & Rob crash into the Wienermobile!

"Ah, of course. How Freudian."
-- Denise, commenting on the hotdog-shaped vehicle airbags

Part 1: crashing into the Wienermobile

Rob's speedy arrival surprised Denise, who hadn't yet phoned her hubby with the bad news. "How did you know I was involved?" Rob shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't know; I just wanted a gory photo for the website." Then he dutifully started snapping pictures of the accident.

And what an accident! Denise's car slammed into the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, of all things. Or did the Wienermobile slam into Denise? No matter: insurance agents will sort it all out. Either way, Rob's camera saw plenty of carnage. As you'll notice in the photo below, the Air Force Security PoliceForces cordoned off a wide area filled with toppled shopping carts and other debris (not to mention the Wienermobile).

If you look closely, you'll see one-third of the commissary no longer has a roof. This sorta-kinda happened when the Nabisco truck (top center of the above photo) careened wildly to avoid the accident. The photo below shows a better shot of the Nabisco truck on the roof.

The snack driver told the PoliceForcesman he swerved in order to avoid a mother with her newborn baby. He did such a great job of swerving that the woman never knew an accident took place a few feet above her head. What incredible driving skill! What an act of bravery! ("More like bravado or stupidity," the PoliceForcesman said.)

State Farm tacked a crane rental onto Denise's total insurance assessment. Our demure bride didn't understand why, since her car didn't require rooftop retrieval. In fact, Denise's car didn't need retrieval at all -- she totaled it in the accident. Rob wanted to take a photo of his spouse's USAF-blue Geo Prizm, but "Rapid Runway Repair" arrived a few minutes beforehand and paved over the vehicle while resurfacing the parking lot.

Amazingly, the Wienermobile suffered the least amount of damage. The highlight circle in the picture below shows a large paint scrape on the driver's outside mirror. Nothing else. How convenient for Oscar Mayer! After all, they only own ten of these priceless vehicles.

State Farm sadly believes it will cost a fortune for this minor touch-up job. "There just isn't much call for Oscar Mayer orange vehicle paint," the assessor told our Air Force lovebirds.

Thankfully, a hotdog-shaped airbag saved the Wienermobile driver from certain death. Rob noticed Denise mentioned Freud every time she looked at the airbag...

Our handsome hubby noticed a paramedic rushing into the Wienermobile to pry a passenger out of his seat. By the way: this is the only way to get in/out of the vehicle (not counting the sunroof). Rob no longer complains about his car just because it has three doors.

The passenger's airbag deployed too, but you can hardly tell from the picture below. All the stuff in the back of the Wienermobile flew forward on impact, landing on top of him. Luckily, the passenger's big buns shielded him from most of the flying debris.

(Denise posed in her camoflage uniform in front of the wienermobile, much like a hunter posing with a just-felled deer.)

In the next photo we can see the driver setting up a camera to videotape the accident scene. She later sent a copy to "America's Funniest Home Videos." Perhaps you saw the episode! (It only won the $2,000 prize.)

The Wienermobile passenger decided to give away some of the big buns which saved him in the crash. And what better way to give them out than to stuff them with delicious Oscar Mayer hotdogs?

He relishes his job as an Oscar Mayer chef, you know. Our blushing bride even got some advice on how to properly burn meat for her groom.